Suzanne Gardner

The messy, complicated truth about grief (Link ↱)

Mourning the loss of a loved one isn’t efficient, compact or logical, and it changes us forever, says writer Nora McInerny.

 

4 steps to starting the life-and-death talk we all need to have (Link ↱)

It’s only human to avoid discussing death. But when we do, we run the risk of not knowing how our loved ones want to live — and die. Advocate and journalist Ellen Goodman tells us how to kick off this critical conversation.

 

Grieving the people we’ve loved and lost (Link ↱)

We can stay connected to them by creating our own special rituals, says psychologist and grief expert Kim Bateman.

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Stress

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"
 

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything."

Remember to put the glass down.

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How to write a eulogy (Link ↱)

When we’re called upon to speak at a funeral, many of us are at a loss for words. Here are some basic guidelines for writing a eulogy.